suffer deterioration after a period of improvement.
I am struggling. Depression has creeped back in and I can feel it. There are factors that have crowded around to fuel the flame, and I am now trying to push through to see beyond what I currently feel. Yesterday I went for a walk with my mom. When things were really bad at the start of this year, my momma would get me to walk with her, just so I could get some air and a lil excercise. I often hung onto her arm and we walked slow.
Those days with my mom helped me to get stronger and keep living. My body ached as I walked, but we kept moving.
For months now, I have been working out diligently. I jog often and I now try to get her to workout. Fitness has become my go-to! Yesterday however, I found myself weak and once again needing the arm of my mom.
Relapse. It brings you back to your brokenness. It reminds you that you are still vulnerable to your illness. It brings up sadness and fear and body aches. It reminds me that I need help. I need care. I need someone to grab onto.
Relapse is apart of our process. Seeking health and hope is not easy. But it's our end. It's what we are running towards - and sometimes what we're barely moving towards.
You are not alone.